Serendipity

2008-11-02T04:12:00.001+08:00

Love is quite the opposite in these cases. Though it may seem like an unreasonable liking, you will eventually realize that what attracts you might not necessarily be good, but along with the aspects of your personality, those characters will go perfectly. That is, what matters is not the absolute, but the relative. What appears flawless to you might be perceived as worthless by someone else. Love is about finding a perfect match to your temperament. Also, love does not allow us to be ignorant about our partner’s wrongs. On the contrary, it is something that makes us want to seek and reform those imperfections – together.

The most important test of love is its strength. Love must pass the test of time. Something that vanishes in a month or a year is nothing more than an infatuation. Love must endure occasional pangs of jealousy. Even the truest and most trusting of lovers can become suspicious at times. The reason behind this is that a true lover will always consider his/her partner as more desirable than any other person in the world and this can sometimes make them be uncertain of other peoples’ intentions towards their partner.

Love is an unblemished emotion while an infatuation is sometimes just lust masquerading as true devotion.

How to be fair in a relationship argument?

1) Avoid speaking at the same time. It can lead to confusion.

2) Don't blame, accuse your partner this will put them on the defensive.

3) Communicate each other's positive qualities

4) Avoid being judgmental

5) Don't try to communicate when a person is in a bad mood

6) Don't expect your partner to guess what you want. Say it yourself

7) Don't save up issues and spring them on your partner when he or she raises an issue with you

8) When you raise an issue, stay focused on that issue until it is resolved.

2008-01-18T03:36:00.000+08:00

fly me to the moon
and let me dance among the stars
fly away from here
from all the sadness and memories
from all the shivers and worries
from all the tingling emotions

fly me to the place
where only my heart still skip..
where only my soul cries..
where only starlight sinks..

The End

2007-11-22T03:18:00.000+08:00

my work is a bore.

Time is on my side.. guess it's about time to pay more attention to my poor blog.. im so so sorry!

S.H.E 'Lao po' is playing at the office computer beside me.. and its bringing tears to my eyes. It's the song i tell myself not to listen again.. those memories.. how hurtful.. how aching.. everytime single time i think about us, looking thru the photos.. the hurt is so deep. for us both. and im truly am sorry. but no matter how much i said it, how sincere i said it, we both are hurt and nothing can be undo.

It's fate we met. It's fate we ended.

3 more days to he and my supposedly one year. and even at this very moment, i dont even know where are we heading.. those words you said to me, it cuts deep into the heart. no matter how generous a person i am, i am still a gal, a human being with feelings. and even over msn yesterday, we cant even hold a proper conversation. this is gettin all so wrong..

i hate it when my life is bound by all these troubles
i hate it when i cant control my emotions
i hate it when i feel so vexed when i see how old my dearest have become
and i hate it that i cant do anythin about it except to make them smile

i wan to get away
run away
hide away
i hate my life. infinite.

2007-10-07T23:56:00.000+08:00

everyone around me are in reputable high profile big banks.. isnt thats what i always wanted.. forseeing myself in one of them?

it makes me feel miserable somehow that all others are going to be one step ahead of me.. and i have to stay on until my coy makes its name..

miserable. anguish. regrets. truly reflect my whole life.

mayb its time to move on with such thoughts. i should be contended with my pay. but in half a year's time, my pay will most proby become nothing when all my friends get their pay rise.. my puny-dont-know-when-starts-going-live coy will never give pay rise so soon.. never.

haix.

yes im career minded, or even money minded. im addicted to seeing the happiness in my parents face whenever i give them household monnie during my pay day. i finally truly feels that im doing something for the family. and i need to learn to take things more seriously and learn the art of not trusting anyone in this pugilistic corporate world.

n im still contemplating whether to change to livejournal, wordpress or xanga.

any ideas anyone?

2007-08-27T22:08:00.000+08:00

i feel so bad neglecting my poor blog..

im sorry baby blog.. i promise i will spend more time on u.. okay?

n ive yet to update those looong outdated post.. not that anyone cares to read it, nor i wana think back those memories.. sometimes it jus hurt so bad.. i wonder where i got the strength to forgive n forget

work seems to be the only thing that keeps me occupied now. even thou there sure is bound to be conflict at work.. i love what i am learning. and i love my group of wonderful colleagues. i pray that nothing will go wrong..

2007-07-10T01:32:00.000+08:00

i have alot alot alot to update. just in case you're wondering if my blog is dead..

the sabah trip
my bdae tioman trip
losing a precious friend

but..

jus havin no strength to upload n describe the long outdated post..
shall do it when ive more time..

im addicted to job search and dating with deckie everyday now.. ha

anyway.. a good friend showed me this verse he came up with.. and i find it reali meaningful..

真爱其实很平凡，穿平凡的衣服，

住平凡的房子，吵吵闹闹的过日子，

然后还是觉得很幸福，那才是真爱

many people have long forgotten the meaning of true love..
..

edited* okay.. my fren lied.. he got it from the movie turn left turn right.. -.- but its stil a meaningful verse..

2007-06-17T15:29:00.000+08:00

no more 'we' no more 'together'

everything is singular now.

'I', 'You' and 'alone'.

2007-06-17T04:45:00.000+08:00

this time, it really happened. he's very clear that this is the end. he's very tired of trying.

even after i asked for another chance (when it really triggers off from minor stuff that im angry abt)

i know from day one he will be the one to end this rs, cos i will never have the heart to break up with anybody. 5 bfs and 5 broke up with me. yes im a loser. this really say something about me right.

i resigned to my Yap family vicious cycle of temper. throughout all these years.. i have tried very very hard to curb my temper, i may succeed in one way or other, but i have never succeeded in controlling my tone when im angry. it's all too late to change now. i am almost 23 year old and being single 2 weeks before my birthday n 1 day before my graduation trip.

hell' yes, im a loser.

even in the middle of the night when im sobbing.. devastated.. my parents are in the background shouting (yes i mean literally shouting at the top of their voice at 4am) that im sheng jing bin. really sheng jing bin, yada yada. great! that helps.. roll eyes*

'lets just go through this vacation once and for all' he said. and then its separate ways..
yes.. like how easy u can make it sound, but i can forsee myself crying at the sight of every beautiful scenery i seen, wishing we were still tgr, crying when i see jia n jai, jen n ah gu, two couples happily indulging in their vacation mood. jus cannot stop crying. i hate being a water sign. even worst a cancerian.

im so dreading the trip that im not even in the mood to start packing. yes, im leaving in 14 hours time.

if only he's not so insistent, if only he's not by my side during the trip as a friend status now, i may be looking forward the trip as an escapism.. but now.. i feel like im going on the trip to make myself even more devastated.

oki i felt like im dying. giddy. crushed. tired. haggard. lost.

i bet an incident like this, breaking up few hours before the trip, happens only once in a million. mayb i should count myself lucky.

yaya self denial.

for ppl who hate/dislike me but stil reading this pathetic blog, u can celebrate that ive met my doom once again. horray*

2007-06-16T03:28:00.001+08:00

came across this in the middle of the night.. and it brought a smile to my sleepy head :)

I am Cancer, My Lover is Scorpio

This is a sexy, solid union if there ever was one! Wow -- the two of you generate lots of heat! Cancer's best match is always a water sign, and with Scorpio you've got one.

In the beginning, just give in to temptation -- spend the entire day in bed. You won't be able to get around to anything else! And even though this sexpot of the zodiac looks as if he or she would be the kind to have a roving eye, in truth, Scorpio doesn't. Scorpios want just what you do -- a stable home, kids, privacy, and great sex for the rest of their lives! Fidelity is a hugely important issue with Scorpios -- they are possessive -- but this only reassures you about their intentions.

You match each other's emotional intensity and can communicate completely without words. This is particularly helpful in times of stress when Scorpio's sharp antennae pick up unspoken distress signals just like your antennae do. Scorpios do have their moods, but so do Cancers, so you understand each other. You will have the right instincts about handling their occasional anger toward you. You will know when to ignore it (like when they're depressed or feeling vulnerable) and when to draw the line and set them straight (like when they're acting egotistical and irrational). Your Scorpio will want ultimate control but you have considerable charm and ESP on your side, Cancer. So negotiate. They are more fixed in their opinions than Cancers are, so you may have to talk your way through lots of issues with your Scorpio.

But in the end, who cares? This lover adores you, and is one in a million. Grab your Scorpio with two hands and don't let go.

smile. i have my pincers ready!

2007-06-15T16:43:00.000+08:00

blink blink* level 14 n i knocked down 2 towers on my own!

grin* dota training in progress..

sorry G. Espada.. my laggy comp give up on u already.. :p

2007-06-15T04:52:00.000+08:00

after all the complaints of why is my dear bf and many of my guy friends hook on dota all the time.. i finally understood why.. ....

it's a freaking exciting game la!

hahaha

yuppie.. im hooked O.O .. roflol
even with the many pros continuously scolding me during the game.. keep asking me to leave (cos i keep letting the enemies feasting on me =( ).. i still persevere.. i still try.. and the highest level i played so far on my own before being kicked, scolded, forced to leave etc.. is level 9! ummz.. achievement already! bleah

side note* i cant wait for dear dear to end his exam n spend one full day with him.. :(

missing him! thou i last saw him was just 6hrs ago bleah*

2007-06-11T03:38:00.000+08:00

lookin forward my coming sabah trip! heh.. but.. well.. the plan has been changed quite abit..no more camping (save monnie!), but didnt expect to not stay over at the hot spring resort too ;(( really kinda sao xin..

nnnnn!!

5 nights of hols sleeping in single bed with dear in the bed (yes another single) beside me in a dormitory is damn torturous.. oki at least to me! i know many of u sure say u can sleep alone at night in a foreign country in a single bed with ur partner in the single bed beside u, but i cant okay!! im super sticky n scardy kitty when come to sleeping alone at night.. what with i often bumped into those '.....' (u noe wad i mean) in the middle of my sleep.. n this time is in a foreign country somemore! i need to hug baby to sleep! somemore dormitory no bolster! ;( the more i think about it the more upset im gettin..

sobz*

bestie says she can.. shijia n jenny (who are goin to the trip with me) also say they can.. but i jus cant! and pls.. its really not about being horny.. its about sleeping alone in a single bed on a hols in a foreign country with ur partner! ;(

im jus being frank here. pout*

2007-06-09T05:07:00.000+08:00

for those who have read my 'latest' post (oki i removed the one on the breakup one already bleah)..

we're back together again.. sweetly as before. oki fine i admit im lousy. but.. dont u wish to give your love one a second chance? bleah.

we make promises and really want to make tings work now. as in really really.. n i do believe him cos i kinda know how he treated his previous rs.

n i know myself how deeply in love i am still.. 28 weeks le okayyy.. despite the nasty squabbles, we can still be sweet okay.. heh

deckie is my motto in life :)

2007-05-28T23:36:00.000+08:00

heh heh.. came across dear dear's hp main page todae.. n saw under task 'top priority: Visit from baby'

heh heh.. so sweeet..

totally cant study for the horrid paper Fr tmr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so scary..

2007-05-22T18:03:00.000+08:00

i have BAD craving for Java Chips Frap now..
how i wish tpy hub's Starbuck didnt close down on me yeeeears agooo......

:(((((

2007-05-19T23:08:00.000+08:00

my buys for the week~

Fancl Limited Edition Cleansing Oil! didnt know Isetan sale include this limited edition bottle! so happie!!
Johnson baby bedtime lotion.. its clinically proven to help baby sleeps better! i wonder if it'l work for me.. hmmz.. cos ive been having insomnia n sleeping at 730am for the past 1.5 wks! panic*
the gorgeous Bourjois mascara..!! love the purple n black packaging.. n it supposed to 'yes to volume, no to clumps!' hahaha.. but too bad it's not waterproof.. cant use it when watchin soppy movies..

im a happie gal! suddenli no mood to study.. n cant wait for exam to be over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-05-13T02:22:00.000+08:00

this is a very back-dated post.. but its a post in memory of my SIM days..

30 April 2007

my last day of lecture in SIM.. and it's MA lecture with mr mok.. and as usual, miss emo lian left school feeling edgy n sad.. n yaya.. i teared (what's new) on bus home that day.. called darling shijia to make me feel beta.. n as far as i can rem.. the first time i stepped into SIM was with her too :))) n she's one of the most impt person in my uni life.. n definitely in my life..

a walk down memory lane..

the refreshment drinks and snacks during the break time.. the teh, the banana walnut cake(!), cheesecake n the pandan cake being my favourites.. okay.. and that looong queue (of gals) while waiting for turn to take the food, n to find out the nice ones were taken, (n no more tissue)!
the chimney walkway during break time in 2004 - 2005.. n the many hideouts avoiding the security guards in 2006 - 2007.. for smoke break..
the stupid long queue in toilet during breaktime
the smelly canteen
the times when we walked round the whole school to find a bench during lunchtime so we can da bao instead of suffocating in the aftermath of the smelly canteen
sharkfin chicken soup (jia, gina, jen, lian & chong's fave!), my $2.50 chick drumbstick rice, katsu don, mega chick chop n brownies n sandwiches, bubble tea, gui hua, meji milk!
my all time fave meena maths lec where i noe my clinque of good friends! shijia, jenny, chong, ken, roger, kok fai, singmin,joanna ( i noe darling gina later!) n where im being known as the late queen with that bunch of gals who talked loudly -.-"'
ME lec where all of us were playing each other's hp game thru out the year n not listening.. MSM lec which i missed more that 60% n when i went.. the rest were playing sudoko thru out the lesson.. AF lec which makes me feel like crying cos i understand nothin, IBM lec which nurture a love-hate rs with nageb n we'l skip lec to go ktv or cycling, CF lec which i spent most of the time taking smoke break, stressed FR lec in the morning which marks Black Tue with a boring Audit lec in aftnoon, but to end the tue with frequent mj session in bukit batok(haha!)..
lifesaving in clementi pool n the dinner! :)
the UOL revision stickers which i always forgot to take it out n ride thru whole bus ride home with it pasted on my front shirt.
the boring UOL lecturers (except for the infamous Amos which marked the days (the only days) im nvr late)
the days i woke up n realized i super overslept, n went back to sleep.. missing n skipping lec are norms
that koi pond
the mugging sessions in LHS of library
the forever overcrowded lift
np canteen
the long bus ride to school, and the more than frequent cabby rides
SRC ppl.. with the many gatherings n meetings for pageant n bash in my first year
the lovely friends i met, n some not so good ppl but i actually missed those drama-mama

shijia, jenny, gina.. needless to elaborate, i love u all..!
i do miss ken n chong, the clubbing n supper n studying sessions
roger n his nonsense, movies, ktv, mj, clubbing, shopping, studyin n supper sessions
kok fai, being bullied by xiao ni zi, wo!, but he actually have 4 bros.. cos he's kok five -.-
sing min.. the lec mate for 3 years.. the only person who took the exact same mods with me for the whole 3 yrs.
joanna, fellow sports src fren, lec mate, working mate, blog mate..
lotte, who im actuali thankful to noe if not i will nvr get out of that saga with the despicable one.
diana, xiao qi..
sean, who nvr fails to book seat for miss late queen, n being my src project head.
davian, uncle longwinded but i believe that means he cares hahaha
kenneth, uncle longwinded n kok five's friend.. who makes me believe i can pass ME n i did.. ha!
and the many other friends who are inter-related.. the list goes on.......

oki.. i do love SIM to bits..

:)

2007-05-04T03:15:00.000+08:00

i cannot stop dreaming of our quarrels.. i woke, i teared n i fell asleep (again) in exhaustion..
heart wrenching morning it is.. heart aching afternoon it became..
its the worst i felt in months..

how could u said such nasty stuff during quarrels..
why do i keep thinking you're weird..

when deep down inside.. we still love each other so much..

why do love ones hurt each other unknowingly.. why.. why...............

im glad we gave each other another chance..

2007-04-30T01:35:00.000+08:00

okayy.. the one-and-a-half-day-ignore-dear-dear ordeal is over.

'sically u ignore him he really ignore u then u don come crying ah'
this comment by jenny n shijia knock me to my senses..

but he really didnt do anything much to get me to stop ignoring him lo.. boo.
u only called me twice n 2 msges okayyy.. :((((

oh well..

but love conquers everything i guess..

-____________-"'

peace*

all's well now..

good luck for your fyp presentation tmr dear! muack*

2007-04-28T04:02:00.000+08:00

i am so tired. really.

i want to start finding jobs.. but no mood.
i want to study hard.. but no mood.

i feel like im wasting my life away.. but no mood to even do anythin about it.

i always placed him in priority, that my life is all about him.. but it makes me come to realization it doesnt seem reciprocal.

u can even smsed a normal tutorial mate about she looking funny with her shoe being spoilt n good luck in findin new shoe. when she doesnt even noe your num.
u never (mayb twice when i complained) asked if im home safely when i cabbed alone home during wee hours (after 1am)
u made me expectedly prepared to ur house to study/stay over and when called again to say im coming over, u changed ur mind n said better not.
etc.
etc.

i lost temper at u.
i screamed at u.

not.

im am so tired. really.

i dont know what to do.

2007-04-27T03:08:00.000+08:00

yay!!!

our trip itinerary is out! and damn.. it really sounds interesting..!!

6 days 5 nights (+ accomodation + flight + transport + 2 days at nearby island)..

ALL for the cost of 710 RM.. hurhur. n food only cost 2.50 - 3.50RM!!!

and for ppl who's wondering where im going........
..
.
.
im going sabah for my grad trip.. muahhaha.. may sound silly n bo liao.. BUT! it's the company that counts! and its gona b filled with lotsa activities!
fireflies, hot spring, water rafting, cows, parasailing, seawalking, snokelling... and shopping! hurhur.

darlings shijia, jenny, me and our respective partners are so looking forward to it..

we are special okayyy.. we are 'broke' ppl who chose the path less travelled.. haha.. instead of taiwan, hk, bkk or europe.. we chose sabah.. help daddy mommy save monnie oso..

:))))

im a happyyy girl!

im contended :)

2007-04-26T01:58:00.000+08:00

today.. we had our First..
.....
..

first time dear n me went ktv tgr! and gosh.. he's a damn good singer okayyy.. smirk*

he sang Wilbert Pan's Wo Bu Pa super nice!! thou i nvr heard that song before.. hahaha

muackz* happy 5 month!"!!

pic of the day.. cammy whore again lolnvr study AT ALL today again..

:(((((

anw.. we had dinner earlier on at this western resturant opposite my house, which suppose to be quite famous (cos it's featured in i-weekly and the pics featured looked nice -.-), and this is the banana cake dessert served!!! look how SMALL the portion is!!! we were both SHOCKED!
O.O

but the main course is nice.. i had Lobster with fish which cost only $14.80, but with the Lobster turning out into Crayfish in the end.. argh.. but its kinda like western-nepalsane cuisine kinda style.. so its quite special.. and really worth the monnie for the freshness and portion of food given.

k signing off..

yawns*

2007-04-25T01:06:00.000+08:00

tada~

i dono what got into me.. hahaha.. but.. growing to love this tootz mushroom hair..

beam*

2007-04-23T02:34:00.000+08:00

pic of the week!

love.

*cant u jus look into the cammy!!! >.o

2007-04-23T02:14:00.000+08:00

IM GOING TO CUT MY HAIR TMR!!

THE HAIR I'VE BEEN GROWING FOR THE PAST 4 YEARS!!"!!!

burst out in cold sweat -.O"''

i wonder if i have the courage at the salon.. .......

side note: my study engine's stucked again! nei nei.. im so screwed!
that accounts for the two posts in one night.. ha.

:((((((

pok pok having his first paper tmr.. good luck dear!!!!!

2007-04-23T00:58:00.000+08:00

omg i think my tummy is humongous!!!

suddenli.. i feel like im becoming a caterpillar...

...

in shock*

2007-04-21T21:34:00.000+08:00

i want to be with you forever..

there's nothin i can be more sure of.. ..

i want to wake up to see your sleepy face in the morning.. or simply.. jus snore me to sleep every night..

:)

pok pok

2007-04-15T03:07:00.000+08:00

happie 20th week babyyyyy :))

studied at our usual place todae and came across this nice lil Eden cabin that featured one of this year Arts Festival artwork.. nice lil pretty 'flowers'.. i like..!
featuring one of my fave.. think its damn creative~well.. just gotta force him to cam whore with me right! bleah

and my sweet sweet him surprised me with a nice pair of ear ring when he returned from a loo loo-ing trip.. the ear ring is made up of crystals which are combination of red, green and purple! he knew i'l love it cos it's all my fave colours!
but sadly.. when i got home.. realized one chain of the crystals was gone.. boohoo :((( mus be my figeting in the movie jus now. it felt like i lost part of dear dear.. yes. exaggerating but exactly those kinda heartache feeling. darn.

but still.. its looking as beautiful as i first got my hands on it. as what dear said.. 'imperfection is beauty.. the part of it is not lost but always in our memories'
...
..
.
doesnt really makes me feel better.. bleah! but.. heh.. i will still wear it once in awhile to make it feel useful and alive!

on a side note. caught the movie Sunshine just now and we both really really love it! and it kinda left an after effect on me.. guess the whole psychological emo thingy of this movie is too much for me to take. it's not those simple sci-fi movie which we initially thought have alien attack scenes(lol! and nonono..theres no aliens.). its .. hmm.. a very intense psychological thriller in my opinion.

note from director Danny Boyle ''There is the question about what happens to your mind when you meet the creator of all things in the universe, which for some people is a spiritual, religious idea, but for other people it is a purely scientific idea. We are all made up of particles of exploded star, so what would it be like to get close to the Sun, the star from which all the life in our solar system comes from? I thought it would be a huge mental challenge to try and capture that.”

catch it if you can!

eikced. aishiteru :))

2007-04-09T00:38:00.000+08:00

four years worth of memories..

where do we stand
where do we start

where.. do we end..

2007-03-29T15:05:00.000+08:00

i love how u rem to leave the toothbrush by the sink with the toothpaste on for me
i love how u snore loudly
i love how u sneak kisses while i sleeping
.
.
.
.
.

i love you

2007-03-25T01:26:00.000+08:00

im a happy broke girl!

went luxasia sale the other day before meeting jess and princess, and decided to try IPSA and man was i delighted!

bought the whitening powder foundation as the SA told me this not going to be discontinued unlike the Protect powder foundation. Tried it today and it gives relatively good coverage, and feels really light on my face, unlike my studio fix which makes me feel like im wearing mask on some days. am glad that i got it at $12 when counters are selling it at $60 for the refill!

also bought the IPSA image change foundation point focus, compact creamy foundation that turns powdery on face when applied. doesnt really turns powdery but it indeed glides on my skin, and leave it feeling hydrated, yet not oily. and yup, its $12 bucks too! muahahha

wore the creamy foundation as base and applied the powdery over, and it last me a good 5 hours today. and it didnt make my face feels oily!

and the Ipsa Metabolizer which they gave me as samples over at cashier, it amazed me! never heard of this product before and it impressed me how the water can be patted onto my skin and leaving it SOFT. im goin to treasure the 4 small bottles i have. chuckle*

hanged around quite abit that day to decide which fragrance to get for dear, and this guy let me have a whiff of Burberry's Weekend for men, and i fell in love with it too. totally wan my guy to smell like that! and i love the women's one too! and now me n dear can have couple scent! heh!
p/s: this scent really lasted me the whole day! and dear loves it!

alri.. summary for today. went nus study with dear and his friend today before heading down to meet his another fren yz and gf, rachel. find rachel really pretty! and i conclude, ALL rachels are pretty! guess most people will agree with me! anyway, seeing her, i really wish i was young again!

overall, a happy day!

sprained my shoulder the other day while sneezing, and man it's damn uncomfy.. lasted me a good 2 days before my shoulder and back feels better.. im OLD

2007-03-22T02:39:00.000+08:00

♪ Way Back into Love

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need `em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Ohhhhh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's gotta be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light

Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I’ll be there for you in the end

how sweet a song.. how sweet a relation
and one wrong move
one dead end

..

what's next

2007-03-13T16:17:00.000+08:00

daddy jus had a blood test yesterday, and jus awhile ago he received another call asking him to go for another blood test tomorrow.

i really hope everything will be fine. im very scare. and i know he is jus as worried, n trying hard to hide it.

:(

i really love him more than anything else in the world. and im glad now we're on good talking terms. he even came to find me at work during the IT show! sweet*

anyway,
i think its time i should get down to exercising. even walking short distance to buy lunch leave me panting. and my heart doesnt feel healthy. THAT numbness is back again and i cant find the previous medi.

sulk.

oh,
my knees hurts from long sitting hours in front of the comp n tv (yes i haven started studyin!) been drinking milk and eating cereals every morning.. but dont really feel the effect.

damn. i really think im getting old.

this is bad :((

2007-03-13T02:22:00.000+08:00

im being over friendly..

what a JOKE

2007-03-05T00:10:00.000+08:00

so vexed. stressed. paranoid. confused.

even with the study mood, distractions are everywhere.

i need a study table.

scream out LOUD. stomp feet.

♪ Listening: Super Furry Animals - Hello Sunshine

2007-03-03T00:48:00.000+08:00

dont understand why i always take so long to understand a chapter. not to say FR, i have yet to even smell my audit and Ma notes.. im so screwed.

:(

study mood..come come..

stayed over yest and he's nice to inform his mom. and as happy as i was, his mom was fine with me over too :) studied quite effectively okay..!

beam*

♪ Listening: Electrico - All the world

2007-03-01T00:10:00.000+08:00

tears cannot stop running.

why do i ALWAYS seems like the only one at fault.

why.

2007-02-26T01:08:00.000+08:00

everyone knows my temper is harmless.. and ive been curbing it and it've been minimum.. bestie knows best.. but it seems even my minimum is hurting baby and im reali reali very sad.

i do not want to hurt him. or us.

:((

2007-02-23T01:40:00.000+08:00

im so in love.. im scared.

2007-02-14T01:20:00.002+08:00

an initial plan of accompanying shijia to queue for donut (with me skipping my audit lec!) resulted in 4 of us gals queueing up for a total of 2hr 40 min at city hall. yup yup.. its donut factory's donut.. hoho..

BUT.. they are super inefficient..............!!! they ran out of cheese flavoured one and yet they only informed us at the counter when it's your turn to order &#(%@*) what's so difficult in putting up a sign at the queue poles informing customers?? and mind u.. their machine can only fry TWO donuts at one go!!! i believe that account partly (or rather mostly) to the long queue, giving people make-believe impression that the donuts are so good people are queuing..

umm..but actually i kinda fancy it, esp those coated with white chocs! it doesnt give people those overly sweet nor oily feeling.. and it smells niceeee! thou im dying to give those cheese flavoured one a try :((

do check out the webby.. www.donutfactory.com.sg
surprisingly its a local brand!.. all the while i thought its some franchise frm aussie..

spent the 2hr 40 min pic whoring and playing silly games.. heh heh..

lynette. jen.me.jia
check out the queue.. O.o4 happy girls when we finally reached the counter!!
TADA! the other half i gave to dear dear n family le :))

i sooo shdnt b bloggin now cos i still hav a half finished vdae prezi waiting for me! but damn tired. luckily ah mok cancelled his lec tmr.. which means im spare frm carrying the the big prezi to sch and ive more time to do the prezi!

its a happy day!

2007-02-13T01:02:00.001+08:00

ive put up some items for sale at yahoo auctions.. do check it out!

3 quarter sleeve brown dress:
http://sg.auctions.yahoo.com/sg/i::227008865

flowery print sleeveless top (blue):
http://sg.auctions.yahoo.com/sg/i::227010877

:))

support pls!

2007-02-11T02:36:00.000+08:00

came across this song at ben and jerry's with dear dear.. and everything abt the song touches me. especially so when my love is right beside me..

jus wana share this with everyone..

Because i love you

If I got down on my knees and I pleaded with you
If I crossed a million oceans just to be with you
Would you ever let me down?

If I climbed the highest mountain just to hold you tight
If I said that I would love you every single night
Would you ever let me down?

Well I'm sorry if it sounds kinda sad, it's just that
Worried, so worried
that you let me down

Chorus: Because I love you, love you
Love you, so don't let me down

If I swam the longest river just to call your name
If I said the way I feel for you would never change
Would you ever fool around

Well I'm sorry if it sounds kinda bad, just that
Worried, cuz' I'm so worried
that you let me down

Chorus

Well I'm sorry if it sounds kinda bad, just that
Worried, cuz' I'm so worried
that you let me down

2007-02-09T02:39:00.000+08:00

i permed my hair.. did a jap perm.. and.. hmmm.. its more on the wavy side.. not the big curls i expected but its onli 80buckz. so.. stil quite like it.. haha..somemore with a hairstylist that looks like Yan Cheng Xu to serve u.. wad else can u ask for! but i concluded perms are not for lazy gals like me who nvr ever blow dry nor comb their hair. now i dono how to style this lump of instant noodle on my head.

shit.

i turned frm this

to this..so.. ppl.. im giving u all warning in advance. miss yap here NEEDS to blow dry hair to go out now.. so.. guess need to giv me one hour allowance else i'll be very late to meet u all!
and which means i havta wake up at 7 for morning lectures now. so dead.

and im very in love. bleah :))

2007-02-05T23:51:00.000+08:00

sighz.. i tink the main pic of my skin is taken off from photobucket.. :((( n ive no time to change new skin.. so... pls bear with it for awhile!

dyed new hair colour (dear helped me!), finally bought a new blusher (M.A.C Dollymix!) and FINALLY found my bodyshop retractable blusher brush!!

jmie is a happy gal! grin*

love shopping with dear dear..
love hanging out with him..
love him..

:))

2007-01-26T01:58:00.000+08:00

woohoo! this is something to celebrate about..
...
..
.

I SOLVED A FR QUESTION!"!!!!!!

my first attempt of lecture question after 9 topics of FR.. n i got the answer!!

jump jump jump* jmie is a happy gal..

treated myself to dear's i-love-u chocs.. heh

2007-01-23T01:36:00.000+08:00

my art work. my fattie. my love.

we fell down tgr todae. and its hilariously fun.. thou my back's injured

:))

2007-01-19T01:45:00.000+08:00

hi yanting,

can we jus stop arguing.

love ya
bestie

2007-01-18T03:09:00.000+08:00

lalala.. i love my new blog addy! i feel so much dearer to my favourite ben & jerry's marsha marsha mashmallow.. not to say i feel more at ease that no one is constantly checkin on my blog now.

:-I

my deck deck got a damn cool new mobile phone today! i have new games to play! yay! grin*

love loveeee him soooo much..

2007-01-16T00:57:00.000+08:00

cracks cracks cracks.

seeing her msn nick.. makes me wonder if shes stil sad over him.. and his 'Good luck for ur presentation' msg sure leave her feeling nostalgic and disturbed. and all i can do, is sit there and watch his ex stil brooding over him.

i cry. i smoke. i zombified. but im too exhausted to throw my temper anymore.

im petty. i don believe ex-es can ever remain normal friends, esp when one party stil haven gotten over the other.

can someone tell me if im wrong..

i wan my timtam chocs. i wan my marsha marsha. yet again..

2007-01-14T03:53:00.001+08:00

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It's easy for you to forgive and forget.

You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds.

You believe that people see you as larger than life and important. While this is true, they also think you're a bit full of yourself.

Your near future is all about change, but in very small steps. The end of the journey looks far, but it's much closer than you realize.

For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

2007-01-14T02:46:00.000+08:00

the endless rain recently has bring my mood to a new low.. only the occasional peek-a-boo with the sun gives me that big sigh of relief.. those that feels exactly like how one would swim furiously towards the water surface like your life might end anytime if u did not take in that mouth of air in the nex few second, and once u gasp in that deeep breath, its like.. ... a wow-you-survive-n-alive kinda relief.

alrity, which is to say without the sun, im feeling damn moody. which is most of the time now.

i need my marsha marsha mashmallow and timtam chocs.

Love will keep us alive

2007-01-12T02:35:00.000+08:00

jmie is a happy gal. jmie bought another new watch! a great bargain i would say. its a last season dkny watch which i like, n its selling for 100bucks in dkny store! its a 125buckz offer! (original price is 225.. and theres new piece!) its my 3rd new watch in a mth! :))

finally decided to capture my watch collection.. (pics not well taken thou)

heh heh tada~ my 14 watches! 3 of which run out of batt n im damn lazy to change it.. 2 of which i nvr really wear. and the rest stays close to my left hand every now and then! these are gifts from frens and one's from daddy!

yup yup. im a watch fetish. i love receiving watches as gifts!

jmie is a shoe fetish too! grin*

2007-01-11T00:08:00.001+08:00

i realize the prata man dont flip their prata anymore. they jus press press press and pan fried my kosong.

:((

2007-01-10T02:27:00.000+08:00

[Mon 8 Jan 07]

hectic yet interesting dae! here goes..:

managed to drag my fats out of the bed and make it for the morning lecture! woot. a good start for 2007. haha.. (partly cos jen's notes with me n i MUST make it for the lec.. lol). dono why ah quek is ALWAYS soo boring.. ended up playing with each other's hp game n cammy again.. hurhur.

cammy whoring with jen's new lovely phone (im too broke to get that fone.. :c )

i'm on candid camera. ugliest moment! (thanks jen -.-)

anw.. studied in lib with jia aft sch before time's up to meet mr poh.. been quite sometime since i spent time alone with my jia..umm..but we ended up painting our nails instead of studyin.. lol

she calls them 'or che' fingers

our nails posing. haa. the pic frame behind is gina's xmas prezi for us gals! i like!

alrity, my second part of the dae.. met Joon Poh for dinner.. yup. hes back in town for a week before hes flying off again. 2 years. the last time i met up with him when hes back for visit was 2 years ago. frankly, beside the fact that he gained some weight, he talks and behaves EXACTLY the same as i know him 6 years ago..

a lovely surprise call from philip while we were having dinner. philip's back frm the States too! he's leavin coming thur thou. so.. in the end an inpromto mj session at poh's place after our movie 'School for Scoundrels'. and mj's really enjoyable..! sexy tiles.. haha..

well.. the previous time we met i bought my old friend a small gift n vice versa.. but this time.. the thought of getting him a gift jus crosses my mind, but i cant find the time to actuali buy something.. hence when i was boarding the cab home and suddenli like some magic trick, he gave me a blue wrapped prezi, seriously, i was dumb-founded and feeling lousy, wad kind of friend i am!

it turns out to be a lovely dkny metallic watch (yes, i like dkny!), with the intention that when i graduate and go out to work nex time, i defintely need such watches. totally touched. im really gladful that after so much that happened last time, after 6 years, we are friends.

yup. and i have to pacify dear on this. im so glad dear is understanding and have faith in me.. :)

but todae (Tue, 9 Jan) had some arguments with dear, all bcos of miss chilli padi here who's damn exhausted over some small matter. but im damn glad its solved. wheeew.

i cant stand my crazy weird temper. i cant stand my constant-insecured-low-confidence-self. im loving him more than i love myself. i feel so lost jus not meetin him for a day. i feel so lost he's spendin more time in his lab now. i feel so lost that we both gona to spend less time tgr cos of the hectic sch work piling. im a lost baby. im his best baby. bleah.

2007-01-09T03:38:00.000+08:00

i cant sleep. im thinking and thinking..

2007-01-06T04:27:00.001+08:00

love has never felt so real before.

2007-01-05T13:24:00.000+08:00

I guess the same thought would hav crosses many minds while seeing Blood Diamond trailer in the theatre - that it doesnt reali seems appealing. well, at least that crosses mine and several of my friends. but yesterdae's experience at the cinema was totally.. hmm.. intriguing i would say. Blood Diamond totally reminds me of another movie which i love, City of God.

Leonardo DiCaprio has once again prove to be an excellent actor, not only in his acting skill, but also of the scripts he chose to act in. so next time, just catch any Leonardo's movie! im sure he wouldnt fail us! haha.. oh! and he has this witty rugged charm throughout the whole movie.. drool*

Blood Diamond is a story set in 1990s, Sierra Leone, Africa, uncovering the trading of conflict diamonds. Thou the story on Leonardo, Jennifer and Djimon may not be true, the trading of conflict diamond is indeed stil goin round in the Africa today.

Zwick Director's note: "The world sees diamonds as sparkling, beautiful and highly prized. They are symbols of love and fidelity, affluence and glamour. But in the African country of Sierra Leone, where many of the world's diamonds are mined, they have taken on a much darker connotation. Conflict diamonds' are stones that have been smuggled out of countries at war. They then go to pay for more arms, increasing the death toll and furthering the destruction of the region. They may be a small percentage of the world's sales, but, nonetheless, in an industry worth billions of dollars, even a small percentage is worth many millions and can buy innumerable small arms."

do check out the official webby for Bood Diamond http://blooddiamondmovie.warnerbros.com/

me n dear were totally engrossed by the show..with me cannot stop crying from time to time. heh. really don wan the show to end! haha.. bumped into Brad n gf and Brad also commented 'excellent movie ah'.

well.. luckily i dont fancy diamond! which makes me feel less sinful.. bleah! but im sure it has successfully make people who caught the movie to think twice before making any diamond purchase!

10popcorns!

2007-01-03T01:52:00.000+08:00

i hope 2007 will be a peaceful blissful year.

it's goin to be a tough stressful time for me, and for my boy. both our last sem of school. our last exam. the path that determines the future. i hope we can get through it together.

im scare.

2006-12-30T22:08:00.000+08:00

a swollen red eye. a missed soccer match. but he stil make an effort to bring the sickly me to the doc in the morning. totally appreciates it. thanks dear.

:)

2006-12-29T14:08:00.000+08:00

woke up to a bad throat n bad tum.. O.-

all credits to the 10 glasses of wine yest. bestie was drunk at the end of the night. silly gal. hug*
partying at a mansion was a first in my life, partying with dear and his friends who are my bestie's dear's good friends was a second first. basically.. it was our bf's frens party and we're jus tagging along. which make it all the more fun at the end of dae.

s'pore is small.

i love how he ruffled thru his hair when he's nervous. i love how his face turns red after the wine. i love how he ^$%!&(* when playing ps.

oki mushy. bleah

puddle

2006-12-28T00:45:00.000+08:00

i like how he piggy back me so my feet wouldnt get wet. im beginnin to like the rain.

2006-12-26T00:40:00.000+08:00

finally found this film for dear for xmas. he's been findin it for ages!
n indeed, my boy's taste is always good.. bleah.

::Lover's Concerto::
this show really leaves an impression in me after catching it.. thou its like the usual sad teary korean movie, it has a nice beautiful twist to friendship n love. it tells a story of intertwined friendship n love between two best friends and a boy..how 3 of them come to develop a special friendship. every scenes are picture perfect. love the way everything is filmed. love the way the storyline is plotted. n more so as i watched it with my boy.

(:

2006-12-25T15:37:00.000+08:00

n so he said 'don't leave.. dont leave me..'

merry xmas ppl (:

2006-12-23T02:34:00.000+08:00

feeling feverish all of a sudden. i soo should have been in bed resting now. guess a short entry wouldnt kill. bleah!

jus put down the phone with my boy.
didnt expect him to call me this late after his guys' night out. basked in sweetness now. was jus typing my good night msg for him half way when my phone rang. such coincidence. guess love says it all. :))

alritey, i'l b good n go back to hug my bolster now. think im having lack-of-rest syndrome. my complexion is so so horrid. i soo don wan a oh-so-feeling-sick-n-ugly-n-crowded-noisy xmas. boo

2006-12-22T03:58:00.000+08:00

i bet bash was a success. had fun time with roger n lotte n gang.. took lotsa pics cos we realized we nvr take pics tgr for the past 3 yrs! i merlioned once again. n i wish dear was by my side. it've been two daes since i last saw him! pout* well.. shall upload pics when im freeee.....

oh yes!
im crazily angry with friendster. dono wad the hell is wrong with it. all my testimonials by dear were deleted.. specifically those by dear onli. very wad the hell. he said he didnt delete those. n neither do i. which is damn weird. so its either someone hack into his account or mine! f up! why will anyone do that! but anw that person will b cursed. whoever he/she is. $*@^$P(#!* sulk

2006-12-21T02:17:00.000+08:00

per·turb (pr-tûrb)tr.v. per·turbed, per·turb·ing, per·turbs

1. To disturb greatly; make uneasy or anxious.

2. To throw into great confusion.

yes. i am truly perturbed. perturbed by her poetic solemn smses. perturbed by her taggy. perturbed by the testi. perturbed by his past that keeps haunting me.

seriously, i thought i can live in peace.but love always find its way to test us. well, i guess if love is reali that simple, i doubt ppl will learn to treasure love that much aftall. make sense doesnt it.

it've only been a sweet (goin-to) 4 weeks, n so so many obstacles arise between us. n dear doesnt seem tired of overcoming all for me.. the stuff i chance doesnt make me feel any better, which once again awoken up my low self esteem n low self confidence.. n yet, i continue to believe.. believe in him, believe in us, believe in the four-letter word called Love.

to appear undisturbed is denial to thy self n to him. but i know it's time for me to shelf that part of emotion in me and immerse myself in the festive season with dear. i know i can do it. i must.

my xmas wish for 2006 is simple. i just wan a fresh clean 2007 with my love. is it that difficult

2006-12-20T02:03:00.000+08:00

it've been awhile since any movie touches my heart, leaving me fully satisfied..well, The Holiday jus did it. i found traits of my attitude n perception towards love in both Amanda(Diaz) n Iris (Winslet)..n it kinda provoked me to relate to them almost totali thru out the movie.. the characters seem so real. The movie showed manys out there that we are not alone having such love problems (guess it applies to gals actuali).. across the globe, regardless of race.. we are all bonded by a universal language call Love. The Holiday is way better den Love Actually or Something's gotta give.. it's more den jus a season feel good movie.. guess u havta watch it yourself to know wad i mean! and the essence of the movie is accentuated with dear's company.. :)

we bought rings todae! mind u.. not couple rings.. jus some rings we both fancy in the same shop n decided to pay for each other.. bleah.. c:

overall, a contended rainy dae!

jus couldnt understand how the cloud can store so much water.. a qn pop by gina n got me thinkin.. haha

2006-12-18T02:36:00.000+08:00

jus got back frm jess's surprised bdae party by her bf.. sweet on chong's part.. but wasnt enjoyable for me actuali cos i felt kinda weird, not knowing most of her friends and feeling so distant frm an old fren. that's the feeling i hated most. but i guess i shd b contended that i met up with them.

tell me tell me..
how shd one feel when u see ur partner's frenster Who I Want to Meet column change to 'my (mind u, is my n not any) plainjane', when u know u wasnt the plainjane he refers to. n he told ya he put it 'just for fun'.. such small incident affects me so much it got me real scare.. pout*

in the end, guess the onli explainable answer all boils down to my insecurity. many a times, the assurance i got was contradicted by the many small actions. i feel so unsure..so lost..so confused. why cant i take things more lightly.
im so afraid to commit so deep. why cant love just b simple.

i cant sleep.

magical

2006-12-18T02:34:00.000+08:00

15 Dec 2006
i saw 3 shooting stars.

2006-12-15T01:20:00.001+08:00

12 Dec 06 [Tue]
wendy's flyin off to spend xmas n new yr with bf!! so sweeet!! met up with her n peilian before she flies off.. was shoppin ard n i saw hoops n yoyo in singapore!! so touched i cried.. heh.. will load pic up once i got back moi lappie.. hope wendy sweetie will hav a nice time in US! envy envy!

13 Dec 06 [Wed]
robin's back frm indo a few daes ago.. suprised to hear frm him frm a local number.. it'd been.. 2 yrs.. since we last met. sighz. he came back for some urgent family matters. met up with him for brunch todae at tpy crystal jade. makes me feel so helpless seeing a fren so vexed and all.. but im kinda glad that hes feeling a lil better with my companion. i guess that's the least i can do for an old friend. i pray things will be better for him soon..

went phu phu with dear again.. guess its pretty much a moody dae for both of us and juz chilling out immersing ourselves in the music.. anw, hes moi favourite dance partner =))

learning to love u, made me lost the way to love myself
the sweetness i felt, is so intensed, it seems unreal
frankness u gave, is wishes come true, yet too much to handle
i wish upon the stars and feet to the ground
that your love direct me back to where my heart belongs

2006-12-11T01:21:00.000+08:00

i wish Whatever will not affect us.. pls giv me strength thru tis..... althou i find myself gettin weaker n weaker each dae.. i reali wan bestie to faster come back n giv me a tight tight hug.

2006-12-07T23:18:00.000+08:00

blissfulness, happiness and contentment for the past 25.50 hrs..... never tot phu phu can be so enjoyable with dear, n with dear onli.. :)) Love, comes so soon, yet so strong n sincere.. the barriers i built come crumbling down..

11 days without bestie.. 11 daes!! bestie, when u returned.. the stuff goin on in our lives must remain the same or even better.. must! :)) im soo gona missed her! we both realized for the past 3 years.. we were in contact pratically everydae! (longest w/o talkin on msn/sms is like.. 2daes!) my sweet bestie dropped me a msg 5 hrs aft she reached SH.. so coool! she deserves this break!

2006-12-04T00:49:00.000+08:00

2 Dec 2006

fattie actuali rem its our one wk n surprised me with ben & jerry's ice cream!! which melted by the time i reached cos im late (as usual..bleah).. Turkish dinner at far east.. n chilled out at Timbre.. i love the place! the band is good! n eic was there to support the band too!
there was a moment when he asked me ' the couple beside us aint tokin.. so sad.. will we become lidat one dae'.. that reali makes me so scare.. :(( how long will this passion last..

nonetheless, its yet another sweet romantic nite spent with dear.. everything's too good to be truee..its a connection i nvr felt with anyone in my whole life..

thou ive said it before, n u may not read this, but i wana say it again.. thanks for appearing in my life baby..

2006-12-02T03:54:00.001+08:00

im not willing to succumb to past's setbacks anymore.

i used to be generous and giving in to the other parties concerned..all too many times.. but i guess love is selfish afterall. the effort he put in for us is giving me the strength to believe and persevere on.. mayb, jus mayb i reali shdnt b pessimistic anymore.. a leap of faith is all it takes..

"light up, light up, as if you have a choice"

2006-12-01T03:08:00.000+08:00

27 Nov 2006

braces on. and its gona b for 2 yrs.. lavender is my first colour.. pain pain..

30 Nov 2006

yet another happy dae.. but deep inside me im stil so insecure and scare.. everythin's so sweet.. its so unreal.. a poem i gotten frm him melts my heart away.. his deep gaze seems so dear, yet so far.. and my heart ache everytime i try to put myself in his shoe.. cos deep inside.. i noe he'l nvr be okay so soon.. juz like how i need to find the strength to get thru this.. i wish we'l be real okay soon..

2006-11-29T03:08:00.000+08:00

horoscope for November 28, 2006

Your normal 'roll with it' philosophy might not be enough to get you through the trials and tribulations that this active day has in store for you. Get a grip on a more aggressive philosophy in order to make your point and get yourself noticed today. You need to be careful not to step on anyone's toes, but you don't have to worry about hurting anyone's feelings. Your built-in sensitivities will take care of that for you. Embrace a more powerful way of doing things

met him n juz being there, letting him solve his probs.. hurts me so much. n yet the crying and tears he feels aint frm me. . n i have to appear so strong.. its killing me slowly..

2006-11-26T12:31:00.000+08:00

accompanied fattie study yest.. i like..
realized we both wore white top and black bottom.. we like..

bleah

2006-11-25T03:27:00.000+08:00

Jmie is a happy gal. Jmie received a box of his fave choc.. :)) thou half of me is scared.. half of me reali hope it works out somehow.. juz hav to believe..

hu feng fang =*

2006-11-24T13:59:00.000+08:00

lappy sent for repair.. it'd been two daes and a.cer hav yet to get back to me when can i get back moi lappy..d.arn. n i was sooo bored without the connection i tried to revive moi dead desktop.. n tada!! it's alive once again.. with the monitor colour fadin away every sec thou.. haha!

moi teeth stil hurts.. and im gettin so sick of campbell and porridge and mashed potato.. :(( n with that kinda diet for the past daez aint gettin me anywhere slimmer.. fwah..

ohoh.. mr poh says hes comin back in jan.. lookin forward to catch up with him

2006-11-21T22:31:00.000+08:00

20th Nov.

extracted two of moi teeth frm the upper row. quite a horrible process to go thru..even thou moi mouth's under asethetic, i can hear the grindin sound of my poor teeth while the dentist tryin all his might to pull out moi teeth using the plier. ouch. luckili bestie was there to hold moi hands..
dentist oso squeeze some sort of rubber band in between moi teeth, and its goin to b there for a week before removing it for braces. and thats damn hell pain too!! not onli is moi gum bleedin endlessly for the past 6 hrs, moi teeth is oso uncomfy n pain frm that small ting he squeezed in between moi teeth. :((
dentist says my teeth's pretty strong.. but in the end they stil end up separated frm the gum.. their new home will be the contact lense casing.. heh =p
and yea..disgustin.. but the blue tingy u see is that stupid rubber being squeezed inside n causing the most discomfort..!

campbell soup , ice cream n porridge for the nex 1 week.. wad a perfect diet setting-.-

2006-11-19T02:35:00.000+08:00

its amazing how we think and like common stuff.. n i reali enjoyed the night and movie.. texas chainsaw beginning is grooosssing shioook.. 'parting is such sweet sorrow'.. :))

2006-11-18T01:15:00.000+08:00

a surprised call when im eatin moi satay with moi babes...! boohoo..but havta hanged up cos eating.. n when i called back.. no ans. so much for his 'call ya back lata'.. fwah. and came across this.. =S seems true to a certain extent.. upheaval.. sulk

Dear Siew Lian,
Here is your single's love horoscope
for Saturday, November 18:

An unexpected love development sends shockwaves through you, but you have to admit that it's rather exciting despite (or maybe even because of) the upheaval. Relax and the next steps will fall into place with delightful ease.

anw tooth extraction on mon.. scared! hopefuli bestie can acc me!

2006-11-16T02:08:00.000+08:00

201st post.

huge nasty fight with daddy. peace's gone.
was hidin in room crying, thinkin who can i turn to.. when moi hp ding dong with a msg.. a sweet surprise from him. n it totali calmed me down. n i actually said sorry to moi dad.

wad a timing..

2006-11-15T02:47:00.000+08:00

what's next?

2006-11-13T22:39:00.000+08:00

now i cant wait for moi Saw 3 date to happen.. after 2nd Dec.. :D

2006-11-12T23:22:00.000+08:00

JB's fun! i bought moi contacts for S$ 48 for 6mths.. hohooo..

fabulous date on Sat.. with moi daddy n mommy! helped daddy collect his hp frm service centre and met them at Ck tangs .. had a simple dinner at Scott foodcourt..den head down to vivo window shop.. moi parents love goin vivo..they practically go there nearly twice a week...madness! but cute! heh..

and a surprise testi brightened up moi dae somehow.. bleah..

looking forward to more happy days ahead! :))

2006-11-10T04:19:00.000+08:00

happy daze!

Jia acc me update moi passport photo todae.. super looong queue at ICA. we head down to Bugis temple prayed aft gettin moi queue num. and when we're back, we waited for another an hour! but had fun playin moi ipod games.. lol! met gina n jen for ktv aft that!"!! love them to bits.. and the 3 of them are xin fu de nu ren too.. all happily attached and damn stable rs. used to be jealous of such ppl, but now im juz envy and happy for moi frens.. cos i already believe it'l never happened to me. :)

met twin for window shop.. got to know several Laneige pdts that seem damn tempting for purchase. managed to get some samples! hiaak.. miss hangin out with moi twin.. but the chemistry stil there aft all these mths! :)

Jb Jb tmr again! cos poor lian have no monnie to buy local contacts.. hence cheapo me gona travel over to dear neighbour and buy same brand contacts for 20buckz cheaper! hoho.. and Metro sale tmr! cant wait! cos im dying to get the Kose White Mask!

2006-11-09T00:14:00.000+08:00

everythin so dark, so eerie.. n once in awhile one beam of light frm the crack wall shines thru and make me feel alive... and den, its darkness again..

reach out to me now, i need to be saved, ive yet to feel loved

2006-11-06T01:53:00.000+08:00

lianie is a happy gal once again..

spent a lovely evening with the two greatest person in my world at Shangri La. its a happy family outing cos there were no arguments! amazing.. and makes me real happy! on top of the fabulous dinner! the first time in my life eatin buddlha jumped wall..!
mommy duno how to operate moi camera..which resulted in a damn blur pic of daddy n me.. which im quite disappointed. but mommy's funny thou cos shes damn scare of using the camera.. ha!

and i really really wana get marry soon..!! i dun wan moi children to be like me so distant frm their couz due to the large age difference. i still believe i will meet moi prince one day.. as long as i believe.. :)

2006-11-05T02:30:00.000+08:00

the more im forcing myself to stop thinkin, the more my heart become weaker. the thought that i will lose him forever, always, is enough to put me down. why are things always so unfair for me.. all i asked for, is a truly happy smile i see frm within. and yet, none of those pics capture that.

but im really thankful that you're juz being there when im down, even for that few mins over the phone..it did make a whole lot of difference

2006-11-04T07:15:00.000+08:00

i seriously think moi life is gone.

moi parents, esp moi dad is always finding faults at me. scolding vulgarities thats so disgustin.

moi friends.
(1) the person who i feel closest to for a long while seems to be losing patient with me and vice versa. most advise/comments i made, or complaints i said, or advise i seek. are often rebutted. whether or not the word i used are wrong, or the tings i said r did not place myself in the other ppl shoes. every single word i used r often singled out. misunderstood. word play. and i havta play back.. while all i need is juz for u to listen to me too. to actuali tink abt how i feel too if u were me. hav anyone actually place themselves in MY shoe before making any move or comment too? it makes me damn exhausted. on top of moi dad who loves findin faults with everythin. im goin crazy. the amt of tears i shed for this frenship seems to b useless. over and over again things repeat. im treated differently frm others, n in a gd n bad way. we both cherish this frenship too much n it came to a bottleneck.
(2) theres a voice that can calm me down almost immediately. but its wrg for me to even contact him. but i duno why, aft all these mths, aft so many disappointments, n many harsh words, im stil missing this presence. i badly dying want to get out, but the more u wan, ur heart becomes weaker. on top of moi bad rs with dad, n the many misunderstandin with the most cherished friend, i turned to him n yet add on to moi disappointment n sadness. but i have no self control AT ALL

i wish i can stop tearin. im goin into hermit mode

2006-11-03T00:16:00.000+08:00

im damn damn sick of everything. why can friends quarrel over small issues? n gettin misunderstood ALL the time. this is moi whole life and i hate it. turned to the nex closest friend on moi list and the first answer is "why".. i replied, "im damn sianz with everythin need ppl to tok to".. to think a person can stil reply with another "why" in an amusing tone. jac says somethin damn true just now. when has that person ever was grateful for everythin i did.

stressed abt monnie, come find me
stressed abt sch work, come find me.
needs monnie return debt, come find me.

yet on daes when im really really damn down n wan find ppl out, when has this person ever fork out 15 min of the life to accompany me? damn down n i need ppl to tok to, i called and the conversations all ended within 5 mins.

who am i to everyone? moi friends doesnt take moi words seriously, guys dont even giv a damn for me. and moi own parents only know how to scream and scold vulgarities and throw things. Am i even worthwhile in this world. Why shd i even b alive to repay all these debts

2006-11-01T23:18:00.000+08:00

Took an interesting test.. and the result--->>

You are 52.38% jealous!
For this test, the average jealousy percentage is 35.54%.
565837 people have taken this test to date.

This percentage means that :
�You exhibit many jealous traits.
�You are prone to over-react.
�Although your jealousy shouldn't prove to be a real problem, you should work on controlling it more.
�Things aren't often as bad as you think.

oh yea.. thats so me.. lol.. =((((
try it ppl

The Jealousy Test

2006-11-01T02:30:00.000+08:00

another happy dae!

1) i managed to understand n hand in a 3-quarter answered FR test! even when i didnt study much for it! beamed*

2) moi dvd shop gathering. bowling at MS. met ace, derrick n vince for dinner before that. quite cool eh cos our schs damn near.. NP, SIM, SP. bowling's quite fun! im actuali quite good at it aft all these yrs eh..hoho.. met most of the branches ppl.. im the oldest gal among all others :( anw boss tab on the bowling! thanks jose!

3) rushed down to meet lotte n roger to catch a 21:50 movie. but the ticket office's closed when we all reached. -____-"' drove down to cine n manage to get 23:25 The Prestige!! such an impressive show!! abt lies, deceptions, illusions, tricks.. woot! totally love it. i love love magic ever since im young.. so moi view on the show may be bias. but still... 4 popcorns! dont miss it!

4) moi frenster msg nvr fails to surprise me lately :)))

oh oh.. but i weighed moiself todae n realized i gained blawdy 3kg over the mths!! $^(@^(#*..oki. thats somethin im damn neh neh over. been complainin to everyone non stop todae.. :ppp.. its time i do somethin abt moi fat fats. n another saddening ting.. moi stupid lappy's batt life onli last an hr.. even when charged fully not using comp. damnit!! stupid comp! its onli 10 mth old!!! argh. dont think dont think dont think.. chant*

night night prince shin. :)

2006-10-31T01:20:00.000+08:00

!!

found moi 1st 3 mth fren..lol..its nice catching up with an old friend..the last time we chatted was like.. 5 years ago! my gawd.. but he can rem im the Rose of titanic in our 1st 3mth sabo.. which i oredi long forgotten.. time really flies man.. im so young and bubbly den.. what happened to me.. shrugged*

happy bdae shijia!"!! half envy half happy seeing her leavin us happily with jai to celebrate her bdae.. i really hope jai is the one for her =)) so what if hes an indian chinese! stil rem how we both poured our hearts out crying in sch toilet..how we skipped lec tgr to cycle cos we're so moody.. n now.. juz seeing her found her xin fu makes me envy her.. but i do miss the time we spent so much time tgr.. but i noe our frenship will nvr end.. =)))

jia you jia you.. i wan to b happy again! i will not allow him to put me down times n times again. i have moi worth.. i noe moi friends appreciate me! rite rite... heh

2006-10-30T02:20:00.000+08:00

today is well spent! im a happy gal! im J'me!

late for work todae cos i told moiself i must must take public transport and no more cabby.. heh heh.. shop was relatively quiet n i managed to get some Management Accounting into moi head.. im so lagging behind moi work!!!!! met lotte n mark for supper in tpy (thou kelv was supposed to turn up.. but he didnt.. hurhur).. mark turned out to be a fren's ex bf.. wad a small world! n he gave me a unique touch to moi name Jamie.. J'me is the new spelling! i like it!

reali wana study tmr for moi FR test n so i msged stone.. (yes again..i sux!) n of cos.. the expected cliche ans.. "dont think so" =((( i really juz wana find fren study wad.. but no one's free.. luckili lotte's free! im goin study tmr in a big big hse.. excited* i hope its fruitful cos i dont wana miss another test thou!!

its a day well spent except for that msg. me n moi itchy fingers..

but i do miss him alot. n im shocked it'd been 2 mths n i've yet to move on. shit. pull hair. panic*

2006-10-28T18:54:00.000+08:00

celebrated bestie's bdae yest [27 Oct, Fri].. we went Vivo Tangs shopped like crazy with our $20 discount vou.. hehheh.. it was planned that i bring them to the Turquoise Room for her bdae.. but when we finally made our way there (aft almost being chased by wild dog), 4 hunger strickened gals found out that it was closed for a wedding function.. #@*$T^*#B went to HV 211 Terrace cafe instead.. hoho.. nice ambience!!

oh well..and the night's spent at phu phu.. not a bad night actuali..lotsa weird ppl ard but well.. entrance n drinks' free! lol.. lav lost her phone thou.. haiz..

woke up todae to a sweet sweet dream.. its so damn sweet its not gona come true kind.. sighz.. i shd have sleep on forever.. browsing moi comp pics.. and i realized.. moi last shot with him was taken way back on moi bdae.. 30/6 at 7pm.. =_(( its damn sad to think abt that.. and this is the pic i will treasure..

2006-10-27T03:00:00.000+08:00

im so damn sure im not alrite. im not even motivated to go school nor even touch moi notes. i hate travelling to and fro places alone. i hate eating da bao EVERY dae. im getting sick of shoppin alone. i want to change every way i look and everything i have. im jus rambling. ignore me.

2006-10-25T02:48:00.000+08:00

i want to grow old with him, to acc each other thru the many obstacles in life.. i know this is wad i wanted.. this is what i forsee whenever i see old couples tgr..

but often, we fail to realize.. we do not get most of our wants in life with our limit power.. no matter how i behave is wrong. no matter what i do is redundant.. and i really wish i can blog happier stuff.. =S

2006-10-22T16:08:00.000+08:00

damn down and stress and misunderstood and sad. i turned to him, again. i realize when im crying when im down, i really duno who to turn to beside him..jus hearing that familiar voice calm me down enough. im dead.

i really really really miss him so much aft all these mths..but i noe, he hates me behaving this way. im not supposed to hang on anymore as told.

oh well.. im tryin.